It hits me when I'm alone. When I realize the day has caught up with me. When the week has caught up with me. Actually, how long has it been? I'm used to ignoring the signs that my body gives me, telling me to make a change. I ignore them because they get in the way. They distract me and make my mind think I can't handle it. I don't want that. I can do everything I need to and want to do. For example, I can sit here and type this blog and ignore that my shoulders are aching, my eyes are tired, that I have a slight headache. I ignore those signs because I've only been home for 2 hours since work and I should be able to do this. I ignore the ache when I'm carrying something and someone asks if I need help. I'm 35. I can handle it. I need to be able to handle it.

Thrown for a loop

It's my day off and I'm feeling productive. Dishes done, laundry going, bed sheets changed, cat box clean. I should be outside. I will be outside later for a hike with the dog and a couple of friends.

It started a couple days ago. An overwhelming feeling like a dark cloud that is looming over me. A familiar, yet distant feeling. A feeling that I can cry in a moment without notice. I guess I am working too many hours. Maybe I have too many projects going at once. I'm strong and optimistic, yet at the moment, something is pulling me down. It will pass. I can handle it. I can move forward. I say this as a heavy feeling is in my chest and my throat. It will pass. I can handle it. I will move forward.

Tired Eyes

So much to do, yet so tired now. It has suddenly hit me that my head still hurts from this afternoon and my throat is a little dry. Time for a glass of water and a partial good nights sleep. I had a good day. I made some progress on a project. I had meaningful conversations about life and the affects that we have on one another. There are so many interpretations. Is it all about the way we interpret each others intentions? about the interpretation of actions and words? why not assume the positive? maybe more people wouldn't be so discontented.

The Little Things

I find pleasure noticing the small details.

I like to keep a part of the ocean nearby as much as possible.

Missing

Seems like so many are missing these days; people I never knew, aquaintances, fictional characters. What happens to them? What happens to those close to them? How long does the impact last? a lifetime? a few days? does it just randomly enter the mind? the memory. How long do we allow it to have an affect on us? do we have control over how long? How do our minds go about interpreting the impact that a missing person has on us?

tonight I'm here.

I'm sitting here when I should be in bed. I'm typing when I should be dreaming. I'm thinking when my thoughts should lead me. I created this blog.